Saturday, August 25, 2007

On a lighter, yet much scarier note...

I took this weekend off to recharge and visit some of my good friends in Columbia, Missouri. While my friend Kari and I were waiting for our friends to get into town, we went to dinner and then discovered a treasure trove of craziness...a local carnival!
Well, I am not sure if carnivals in other parts of the country/world are similar to a Rural Missouri carnival, but here is a tiny glimpse of what we saw: rusted rides operated by men and women with very few teeth(always with a cigarette in their mouths, to boot), beyond pushy game operators heckling you to pay $5 dollars to throw a ball at glued together bottles, and a lot of local folk that you usually don't see in daylight...Essentially, it was "Deliverance" with a Tilt-A-Whirl and bad carnival music to replace the Banjo
Well, Kari and I were able to amuse ourselves on the rides and by people watching(though, I think I will go get a Tetanus shot just to be safe!) There was not a huge turn out, so the ride lengths were amazingly long! Well, we were talking having a blast and enjoying the festivites, that is, until we passed the "Dunk-a-Clown" booth.
Well, there was not a line to dunk the clown, so I guess he felt the need to provoke people to pay to dunk him. It seems he fixated waaaay too much energy on me though. I was wearing a blue striped polo...for no reason other than I love blue and enjoy polos...and he started to heckle me!

Well, I do not get upset/embarrassed easily; however, he knew exactly what to do to make me feel the most uncomfortable I have felt in recent memory. He quickly deemed me as "Preppy" due to the polo. I thought he was surely talking to someone else, until he said, "Yeah, you in the blue striped Polo." Kari and I were taken aback. He didn't leave it at that. While we were in line for a ride next to his booth, he kept up with the harrassing comments. "Yeah, where you going 90210 Reject!" Yes...he said it...I shit you not. I am not even old enough to really remember 90210, and he was still hurling the insults. *Note, I PAID to get into this place.* So, needless to say, everyone around me and the ride we were in line for were laughing in disbelief at his comments, while staring at me. I nearly had a panic attack! To give you an example of how much I do not like attention to be put on me in public, I will share one of my greatest phobias. "*Clap, Clap, Clap*...Happy Happy Birthday, We're so glad you came, Happy Happy Birthday, from the Applebee's Gang!" When I hear the clapping, I start to have trouble breathing...Even when I'm well aware it is not my birthday, there is always that handful of friends that thinks it is sooooooo funny to see people sing to me in public! I know it sounds stupid, but my friends all now know that if they don't want me to pee my pants in public and hate them for all eternity, they will NEVER do that to me at a restaurant!, I was experiencing an Applebee's Birthday Song times 10!!! Finally, I grabbed Kari, put my arm around her for support and we left so I didn't pass out from lack of oxygen! The clown of course continues, "Yeah...listen to your woman and walk away!" Kari was fairly supportive, as she tried to muzzle her laughter.
So, now that I have survived yet another traumatic even in my life, I feel I am a stronger person! Lesson learned...Clowns suck!!!

1 comment:

BentonQuest said...

"Deliverence with a Tilt-a-Whilr" classic.